why me

So I keep asking myself why me? Why does all the bad things happen to me? ME ME ME. Freaking selfish I have been haven't I?? This bloody world isn't about me. It's about everyone. I am totally missing the bigger picture here.

I can sit crying and fussing all day long. Feeling sorry for myself and how life sucks for me and all that bullshit. But seriously, for what? They are many people out there who are in much worse positions than I am.

I can sit crying about it or complaining about pala but hey I know he needed me and that's why i was there for him and I needed him too. It wasn't parasitism. It was mutualism. So i'm gonna quit doing this. Quit making a fuss and count my blessing.

I am blessed to have a wonderful mother who stuck by me through everything.
I am blessed to have a brother who may not be the super loving and caring type but I know he has my back and wishes the best for me.
I am blessed to have grandparents who are so loving and giving and have made me who I am today.
I am blessed to have a maid who loves me like her own sister and never lets me cry alone.
I am blessed to have a doggie who is so cute that he always never fails to put a smile on my face.
I am blessed to have met pala and been with him as he has made me the person I am today.
I am blessed to have a uncle who despite his own problems always has time for me and my problems.
I am blessed to have friends who are so wonderful to have remained by my side through the year.
I am blessed to have my angel Tanya, whose constant love and concern has got me through the hardest times.
I am blessed to be in the course that I want and doing the job that I want.
I am blessed to have no shortage of food and money.
I am blessed to have all the luxuries that I want.
I am blessed to have good health and safety.
I am truly blessed and I cannot thank God enough for that and I definately know it is his will and I know this is all what he wants for me. I did surrender to him and he took him away. I don't know why or how this came to an end but it did. I again surrender my life to my lord and pray he makes me stronger and makes me a better person. I need the strength to carry on and move on.